How to Suffer Less (Almost Instantly)

You're in the middle of heartbreak. Or maybe you just got fired. Or perhaps you're lying awake at 3 AM spiraling about a decision that went wrong.

The pain feels permanent. Overwhelming. Like it will never end.

But here's something strange: if I asked you about the worst thing that happened to you five years ago, you'd probably tell the story with some emotional distance. Maybe even a touch of fondness for how much you've grown since then.

What if you could borrow that feeling right now?

The next time you're suffering, try this mental shift: imagine you're looking back at this exact moment from five years in the future.

Picture yourself telling a friend about "that time when..." Notice how the story feels different when it's already in the past. The sharp edges soften. The overwhelming becomes manageable. You can almost see yourself having survived it.

This isn't about minimizing real pain or pretending everything is fine. It's about accessing the emotional safety that comes with perspective – the same way you feel when remembering past difficulties you've already overcome.

Your brain processes current suffering and past suffering very differently. Present pain feels urgent and endless because your emotional centers are fully activated. But when you remember past pain, you're accessing it through different neural pathways – ones that include knowledge of your survival and growth.

Temporal distancing research shows that when we view current problems from a future perspective, we naturally engage more rational thinking and feel less emotional intensity. You're essentially tricking your brain into accessing its "wise elder" mode while still in the middle of the storm.

Think of something currently bothering you – doesn't have to be major. Now imagine it's three years from now and you're casually mentioning this situation to someone over coffee. How would you tell that story? What would you focus on? How would your voice sound?

Notice the shift? That slight loosening in your chest? That's your nervous system recognizing that if you can tell the story, you survived to tell it.

This technique works best for emotional suffering rather than practical problems that need immediate action. Use it when you're stuck in cycles of rumination, catastrophizing, or feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of difficult emotions.

It's not about avoiding reality – it's about accessing a more resourceful state from which to engage with reality.

What did you think of this technique? Hit reply and let me know if you tried it.