“The most insecure people are the most self-aware.”
Why?
Because they watch themselves so intensely that even their tiniest flaws stare them in the face.
Stifling them at every moment, under the weight of anxiety.
They are the most self-aware living beings on the planet—the insecure ones.
Who am I to criticize?
Well, if I’d read this two years ago, it would’ve screamed discomfort at me—forcing me to confront an intense reflection of my own self.
But it would’ve also given me some priceless wisdom to reflect on, which I now hold—raw, yet deeply marinated.
I was that kid.
That one person with his mind juggling in the middle of family functions, lagging behind in group conversations, becoming the “un-understandable” guy in social settings.
I was so overly self-observant that it would make me re-think every word I spoke, every move I made, and even every thought I had.
My mind was nothing less than a storm—until I churned my mind through a perspective shift.
From a very early age, I was self-taught to watch my thoughts—to be aware of where they were heading and what they would result in.
At first, the process was exhilarating. But soon, my greatest strength turned on me.
I was subconsciously convinced that the more self-aware I could become, the sharper my thoughts would be.
But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
My self-awareness spiraled out of control, and zoning out to the cosmic world became an obsession that swallowed me whole.
I started to watch myself so closely that I was blinded by one of my core fundamentals of thought—identifying reasons.
Yes.
I knew I was too self-aware.
I knew I was zoning out.
But lost in the cosmic wave, I forgot to ask why.
But that single question shattered everything—not just my idea of self-awareness, but my sense of who I truly was.
The answer that came to the surface?
Refinement.
Insecure people can relate—that they never feel “equipped” enough to do the next thing.
If you’re one of those blessed individuals, don’t hide behind shame—you’re an ever-growing, ever-refining luminous soul.
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Through the road of intense self-awareness, mental chaos—and finally understanding the roots behind it—I’ve arrived at this conclusion.
What you resist, persists. By the very act of trying to repel it away, you attract its cause.
The only one who holds that utopian vision of your Self is no one but you.
You can only get better so much. And after that… you’ll realize you don’t really need to.
By the time you reach the worry of refinement, you’ve likely already outgrown the version of yourself you once thought you'd never surpass—and that too, without even realizing.
Chances are, you’ve already achieved more than your past self ever dreamed of.
Look back at your Self from three years ago.
What improvement are you refusing to notice?
Photo by Ales Krivec on Unsplash
So, now, is that next phase of refinement truly worth the mental chaos?
I don’t know. But I can tell you this:
Observe your path. Understand your actions. Refine. But don’t get so absorbed that it distracts you from living life with a bit more grace, meaning, purpose, and most importantly, happiness.
The vision is yours—and I’m not here to intervene. But I’ll be a fellow traveler with you along your journey sharing what I learn through mine.
And finally, the same mind can spiral up and also settle down in calm.
Give it some time. Some space. Some silence.
Wish you the best.Leave a comment
Jasir IbrahimFrom Beyond Silence