I’m sure you have heard this before. But what sense in the world does it make when you say “suffering is optional”?
Well, if you are in this phase of confusion where you don’t know what the heck this means and how you can apply this in your life (like I was a few years ago) then you are in the right place.
Welcome to The Mindset: The Ultimate Mental Growth Model.
Let’s dive in!
What is That Guy Trying to Tell Us All??
First, let’s make things clear by understanding what the Chinese guy is trying to say.
“Pain is inevitable”. Understandable.
“Suffering is optional”. What the Heck??
Let me explain.
First, let’s define “suffering”.
Suffering is when you get attached to a thought so much that it becomes stomach-turning and teeth-gritting to get away from (or stick to) that thought.
Fundamentally, at the base, this is what suffering means.
It is the result of an uncontrolled and un-nurtured thought that you got so connected to (either negative or positive) that it is almost impossible to not notice, anticipate, interact with, and complain about, and you just cannot help getting towards or away from that thought.
This is when you suffer.
When that guy says “suffering is optional” he means it is optional and within your control to avoid the root causes of suffering.
He says you are in control of the root causes of suffering. But the only catch here is to know what the root causes are and what to do to control or prevent them.
The Root Causes of Suffering
This is where The Mindset comes into play.
The root causes of suffering are, as pointed above, noticing, anticipating, interacting with, complaining about, and wanting to get away from pain.
I strongly recommend reading one of my other posts where I go over in detail about this exact topic.
But I will briefly explain it to you so that you can understand the rest of the post.
Noticing and Anticipation
Noticing and anticipating pain increases suffering.
To control this, identify your pain and recognize when you are noticing or anticipating it.
Interaction and Complaining
Interaction with pain and complaining about pain prolongs suffering.
To avoid this, stop interacting with negative thoughts and avoid complaining about pain.
Remember, you can always choose to not interact with your pain.
Wanting to Get Away From or Towards Pain
This level is the result of failure to avoid pain in the previous levels.
Lack of knowledge and wisdom leads to extreme suffering.
If you want to dive deeper, read the full post here:
Now that you have clearly understood how you can avoid getting hurt by a mile, let’s talk about another interesting part which is an extended version of a part of the knowledge you just read.
Interaction With Pain
This is the ultimate root cause of all suffering. This is where everything boils down to and arrives at the end.
Your interaction with pain.
Controlling the root cause is the ultimate solution for anything that brings problems in our lives.
I’ve talked about this many times in my publication and it is also explained in detail in the above-mentioned post.
Also, I’ve written an entire post on controlling our thoughts where I talk about the idea of ignoring without interaction.
Click here if you want to explore more on that topic:
Basically, interaction with negative thoughts in general is the ultimate root cause of all negative emotions including pain and suffering.
Ignoring without interaction is the solution to this seemingly inevitable problem.
Do not even say “Shut up” or “I don’t care what you say” to the negative thoughts that trigger you. Those replies would actually make you closer to that negative thought because you are literally tying your rescue to the cause itself.
This will put you in a place where you think your thoughts are in control, but it actually isn’t, since your response to those negative thoughts like “Shut up”, was not in your control.
They spontaneously popped up in your mind, to give back a reply or carry along with that negative thought that is very good at making you sick.
It’s your thoughts that make you sick. Not the external events.
After knowing all this, it is crucial to build the knowledge and wisdom to support our minds, to help us heal faster, get hurt less, and live happier.
Luckily, The Mindset is the place you are looking for where you can build the necessary knowledge and wisdom for achieving mental growth, healing faster, and living happier.
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Check out my other posts on my website to learn more about The Mindset!
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Thanks, Guys👋
Jasir Ibrahim